Cold turkey

5 days... that's how long it's been since I've been cast out to mingle with real people, and so far I seem to be surviving :)

Getting used to being truly single is sometimes a little strange though, and there's still some reminders hanging about from my past year.

1st... No.41 (I'll call him The Intellectual) wonders if I fancy joining him for a meal tomorrow night. I'm tempted to go along, but I know he's not really my type, so it would be kind of stringing him along. He has suggested a pretty cool bar though :)

2nd... The Teacher. A long lost (complicated) love interest is about to spring back into his life, so thought it 'gentlemanly' to let me know. But, wouldn't mind staying in touch as friends. Now that always sounds like a good deal, but in reality that never works out. Imagine the scene... summer evening, night out... he with his long lost (complicated) love interest in tow, me remembering I've seen his bod. And there's always the possibility I'll turn into some kind of agony aunt (not the first time, as I discovered with The Twin).

Not a good idea, so best avoided!

3rd... Baileys Guy (remember him). For six months I've had fairly sporadic 'Mutual Contact' with this guy. Now he wants to meet (I know, we've been there before!). I've tentatively said maybe!

4th... The Barman. Now, this is 'very' interesting. I bumped into him yesterday outside the place he works (it's a bar, remember). He gave me the biggest smile so far, and yet another wink. OK, he may have a twitch... but he's quite cute, so I can see myself having to have the odd night out there soon (I guess I could suggest The Intellectual take me there tomorrow!)

Singledom so far has not been too bad then. Of course I've upped my golf a bit (which reminds me, I'm due a lesson with Gorgeous H soon).

And honestly, I will get round to doing the nominations, but it's going to have to be next week. Keep watching :)

Come in No.41, your time is up

Right, I have the sofa, the DVD and the wine... and tonight I'm about to do the whole 'perfect date'.

There's just one problem... neither No.41, or the guy from the 'not a date, honestly' golf game this afternoon really did it for me!

That's it! You can't say I haven't tried, but it's just not happening!

Last night with No.41. He was actually a really nice guy. I can't even pick out any minor faults with him at all... just not really my type. It kind of shows just how easily I get wooed by words. His emails were fantastic... intelligent, witty, slightly flirty. On screen the perfect guy.

But after an evening hyping myself with espressos (he's teetotal) I realised our personalities are too different. When I'm out I want belly laughs and fun. It was a little too 'studious' for me. I like splashes of inane banter, not constant thought provoking questions.

So, off the list (the last one!)

Still not disheartened I headed off for my 'not a date, honestly' golf game. I've never met this guy, so didn't know what he was going to look like. He'd described himself as blonde, and I knew he was in his early thirties. So *obviously* that meant he was a Brad Pitt lookalike... surely?

Well, no. More like a Pitbull lookalike! With no personality at all. And the strangest and most disturbing thing was he seemed to talk in the 'third person' all the time.

Scary... very scary.

So I guess that's it for me. I will do the awards (I promise!). But right now I've a bottle of red and Bridget Jones to watch!

It's happened!

What, I hear you ask... have I found love? Did I take one glance at No.41 and decide instantly he was the man of my dreams? Am I about to embark on a life of coupledom, with DVDs and bottles of red strewn about the place with carefree lustful abandonment?

Well, no... my subscription has ended. That's what's happened!

No more winks, and no more slaving over a hot laptop trying to come up with endless thoughtful, and witty replies to a bunch of completely unsuitable Potentials! Strangely enough the same laptop keeled over and died, possibly at the precise moment my subscription ended.

Did it sense the impending neglect?

Anyway... where does that leave me on the dating front??

Well, first we have the latest Potential. Last time I told you about a *possible* 'Face to Face' (No.41) with him last night... so what happened? A bunch of us went along to this gig where he was going to be working. Knowing he was going to be pretty much by the front door I did a kind of stealth/sniper entrance (I wanted to suss him out before he saw me!). Once safely into the gig it want time to send out an advance party to check him out!

So two of my friends went out and kind of sauntered past where he would be to check him out (I say sauntered past. Apparently what happened is more along the lines of two hyped up meerekats more or less stalked the area ... one of them actually shouting his name before running away. Nice style ladies!)

The verdict... "There are three guys out there, and we hope to god it's the one we think it is!" I'm now obviously intrigued, but the band have come on, which means everyone is inside. If I go out there I'm not going to be able to 'blend' into the background quite as easily as the others did!

So, I just kind of peeked through a gap in the door. They were right... there were three guys, two of which could have more than easily have been featured on America's most wanted. Thankfully my potential looked fine from the two centimeter gap in the door!

What now... do I go over and introduce myself, or do I just casually walk by and hope he spots me! One of my friends thought it was quite funny that I'd 'gone a bit shy' (her words, not mine!). Me... shy!

Right, deep breath. I'm not a bloody teenager, so I went and introduced myself! What a nice guy!! We only had a chat for about 10 minutes, but I can tell you he has lovely eyes!

I'm not counting a little chat as a 'Face to Face', so that's still to come. But it is going to happen! I had a very sweet email off him this morning, pointing out how nice I looked last night (I won't tell him how much thought I actually took in trying to pull of the casual, naturally attractive look!), and when am I free to join him (for coffee, not life!)

So we're meeting tomorrow night!

Oh, I have to share my last email from the dating site, before they booted me out:

"love the legs - and the rest nice to. im on msn if you up 4 chat and to see my legs".

I'm really going to miss those little gems :)

Only 48 hours to go!

Seriously, that's how long I've got left on the site. My god they try anything to keep you hooked... daily emails letting me know what I'm going to be missing, selections of profiles *way* more attractive than normal. Date pushers, that's what they are!

Now, last time I updated this I'd chosen Option 4 (The Triathlete) for my weekend fun, and hinted at a brand new Potential I'd started a bit of 'Mutual Contact' with. Prompted by comments on my last post (Icouldhavebeenacontender.... who *are* you?), I feel obliged to update you all.

First, the weekend. Now, he may have a body you so want to wake up to every morning, but you know, I *just* couldn't muster up enough enthusiasm for a weekend with The Triathlete. Why... well, it would have got in the way of my golf plans!

I know... Gorgeous, attentive Guy, or frustrating game. In my usual style I went for golf instead! I would've squeezed him in around games, but it seemed a little unfair to drag him all the way down here . He does want to come down this Friday though... so I haven't *quite* closed the door on him just yet!

Now, the new Potential. This guy is fantastic. Every single one of his emails has me reaching for both a dictionary and the encyclopaedia. It was one of the few times I've actually instigated the first contact, but his profile was so interesting I couldn't resist.

Topics of conversation in the first few days: jam, pigeons, industrial porn(?), composers, knicker styles, embarrassing itches, TLA scrabble, Islam, water bombs, chips, Fothering's reductive (yep... needed Wikipedia for that one!), txt spk. All seemed to be injected with a hint of humour.

It's been email flirting at it's best (but a *little* bit taxing for my mind). We had kind of arranged to bump into each other tonight (at a gig)... that was until I realised (or rather, was told) that I'd got the day mixed up, and I'm actually going to the gig TOMORROW.

No problem... he's going to be there too, which gives me 24 extra hours to get ready!

'Face to Face' 41 then. And there was me, all prepared to give up at No.37.

JP pointed out to me if I get to 42 then I've found the meaning of life. It's technically still possible, because I've also had an email of The Twin, who wants to take me out to dinner!!

I'm going to have to tell you later in the week about a golf match I've arranged for the weekend, with a guy from a golf society I've joined (hey... I'm leaving the dating site, so needed to do something). My Old Friend pointed out last night this game was starting to look suspiciously like a date. I've booked a mid afternoon tee off, which should get us in just in time for drinks/dinner. And our last couple of emails *have* gone off the topic of golf... ever so slightly!!

What can I say :)

I chose shoes

I didn’t actually give ‘Face to Face’ No.40 a name did I. I think I’ll call him ‘The Unreliable Hypochondriac with a Grudge Potential’.

Why?

Well, after Tuesdays comedy date, I quickly realised there is no way I could see me going *anywhere* with him (he’d probably get lost anyway). So, as I’m generally a polite kind of person I sent him a ‘thanks, but no thanks’ email. My god he took it badly! He wants feedback!! It wasn’t a bloody interview, so I don’t think I really need to.

I’ve still resisted the temptation to sign up to the ‘Upper Crust’ site (and as the title suggested, now have another pair of very ditzy shoes instead). And I’ve officially cancelled my original one too. But that site is quite sneaky too, and let me know they’d leave my profile there for 7 more days, just in case!

I’ve been there a year… I seriously doubt my Soulmate is going to spring from the woodwork now! I mean, what are the odds of that happening!

My leaving the site must have sent out vibes to a couple of ex Potentials though, as yesterday I had text’s off both The Whistler (yuck), *and* Outdoorsy Guy (yum). The Whistler wanted to know how my swing was coming along, and Outdoorsy Guy wanted to know if I fancied a drink sometime (he’s obviously worked his way through some Potentials, and is bored!)

I did send him a text back… maybe next week!

Can’t this week though, as I’ve already got a couple of dates planned!

I’m out tonight with the Ever So Challenging Sales Guy… tapas and wine! Yes he’s arrogant, and yes I don’t see us going anywhere… but a night out is bound to be interesting (as long as I keep my wits about me!)

And the weekend… well, I had oodles of choices for this weekend…

Option 1 - My End of Dating Party. This will have to be postponed for a week, but I blame the dating site for giving me an extra time on their site.
Option 2 - My neighbours flat warming party. This is actually a fairly swanky affair, with cocktails and a Sinatra style singer in our garden?!?
Option 3 – A boat show with the Ever So Challenging Sales Guy

Or

Option 4 – a weekend with The Triathlete (and his washboard stomach!!)

So I’m going for Option 4 (if you remember my thoughts did drift off to his six pack on the date with ‘The Unreliable Hypochondriac with a Grudge’ the other night). So… two nights with The Triathlete, and we’re going to the beach!!

There’s one fly in the ointment though… he’s given up alcohol. His very demanding training schedule doesn’t allow any vices (well, I may need to clarify that!), so curling up with a bottle of red is not going to be on the agenda!

I may be able to sneak out to my neighbours for a cocktail though if I get desperate

I’m going to have to fill my boots tonight then :)

Ooh… and lastly, if I remember, I must tell you all about a brand new Potential sometime!

A new award

Well, first of all, you'll be pleased to know that so far I've resisted the temptation of the 'honey trap', and not parted with any more cash in my quest to find the man of my dreams!

I did get as far as taking my card out of my purse, and even getting as far as typing in my discount code. Shame on the 'Upper Crust' site... they surely know that 99.9% of girls can't resist a bargain, and with our occasional mixed up logic, only see the first part of 'Save 10%'... completely missing the fact what they should be saying is *SPEND* 90%.

But I'm made of stronger stuff (or more to the point, I've realised the 90% could be used on a pair of shoes that are almost guaranteed to last longer than *any* of my Potentials ever have).

Plus... do I really want to spend another night with an unsuitable guy!

The Big 40 was tonight... and could well go down as yet another one of those comedy dates that's worthy of an award. The award in this case being 'Date most likely to frustrate the hell out of you for *so* many different reasons'.

Why?

Reason 1 - he was late. Now, I know he was coming over from Bristol, but still, how hard is it to plan what time you need to set off if you have to be in a certain place at a certain time?? He did text to say he was going to be 10 minutes late (but by then I was in the middle of getting ready, and in my usual style I didn't see his text). But he was more than 10 minutes late.

Why?

Reason 2 - he got lost. I get lost *all* the time, but armed with the knowledge I find A to B a little difficult (without meandering past C, D and sometimes even Q), I prepare myself. If that means a series of Post It's on the steering wheel, or a convoluted set of instructions in my head I do it. And seriously, my area is so well signposted they even have it in two different languages! At least he had the balls to call to say he was lost, so I could give him directions!

But in the spirit of dating I *try* not to judge too early on, so cast aside his early incompetence... maybe he was nervous, and so hadn't really thought the journey through! And hey, he had made the effort to meet, so be nice!

Two blips so far... but on with the date. He was actually a fairly interesting guy, and we had a fair bit in common (apart from his punctuality and sense of direction). After our coffee we decided to go for some tapas...

Here comes Reason 3 - I seriously defy anyone to pour over a tapas menu and struggle to choose food. This Guy initially said the only thing he wasn't keen on was anchovies (fair enough... I struggle to get enthralled by them). What he meant was, he wasn't keen on most seafood, red meat, vegetables, spices... oh and garlic. Can you see how the choices were starting to be more and more limited by the minute?

So, after ordering some bread and olives (not the stuffed ones though... you can't be too sure what's stuffed inside them you know), we carried on with the date.

It was still going *fairly* well (although I did make a mental note he was never going to be the best person to send out for a takeaway in a strange town), until all of a sudden he started blinking furiously and complaining about the light.

The guy was getting a migraine!

Christ almighty (and Reason 4)... a guy complaining of a headache, this early on in a relationship. Not a good sign! At this point I suggested we get the bill, and he toddle off home. One part of me was concerned he was struggling to see, and that combined with his poor sense of direction could well have him driving around in circles until the early hours. Another part of me is thinking this must *surely* be a standard get out clause for a bad date, so a least I could put him out of his misery by calling it a night!!

So we said our goodbyes... all the time he was proclaiming how embarrassed he was, and reassuring me he did want to see me again. Strangely by this point my mind was wandering to thoughts of The Triathlete's washboard stomach :/

Life certainly didn't begin at 40 for me!

So I have a bit of a dilemma now... shoes or Potentials??

You know me!

First of all, apologies for the delay in getting the nominations out. To be fair I’ve had such a giggle reading back through the year it’s confused me slightly. I mean, the number of Potentials eligible for the ‘Potential I wouldn't sleep with if they were the last man on earth’ category alone is just mind boggling!

But there has been another reason for the delay. I think last time I updated this The Triathlete was my current (and 38th) chance at love. Well, tomorrow I’m going out on my 40th ‘Face to Face’!

I know… maybe I was a bit premature with this whole ‘I’m given up dating’ thing. Much like a drug addict, it’s actually not that easy to go cold turkey. But I only went back on the site once… honestly (and as my power drinking colleague is on hols he won’t know I’ve failed the challenge, and so I *may* still get my prize!)

So loads for me to write, and you to catch up on! Where did I leave it last time?

Firstly… the blossoming romance with The Trialthlete. Well, I guess you won’t be totally surprised if I tell you we’ve had three dates (and one sweet bouquet of flowers). You also won’t be totally surprised if I tell you I can’t really see it going anywhere! Don’t get me wrong, he’s sexy as hell, with a six pack you could wash clothes on… but not really on my wavelength, and a couple of times he’s remarked on how difficult it is to get hold of me!

MY PHONE WAS OFF!!! When will these guys understand… golf and mobiles don’t mix! It’s not my rule (although, I have to say, it’s a good one). Last weekend all about golf for me. I went along to a major golf tournament (thank you Ex SysAdmin Honey for the pass!). I’m pretty sure Monty would’ve had something to say if I’d been idly chatting to a Potential at the 18th (no matter how sexy that Potential may be).

And then my own Open the following day. There’s not really an appropriate time to text sweet nothings when I’m trying my best to look not only cute, but a credible golfer too (I *think* I pulled the first off… not sure about the credible golfer part though)

Anyway, enough of The Triathlete… where the hell have 39 and 40 come from??

Number 39 is actually a friend of a friend. This kind friend suggested me and a friend of his hook up together (bless… he knew a couple of weeks away from dating was going to have me climbing the walls, craving attention!). So, what’s Friend of Friend like? Well, he’s fairly intelligent (a plus), but he’s a sales guy through and through! Not in itself a bad thing, but having previously had a fairly intense relationship with someone in this field has left me wise to the type of arrogance that can bring with it. And believe me, the guy has buckets full of it!

Don’t get me wrong… I actually like confident guys (more than I like needy insipid mindless wimps!), but when confidence crosses over into arrogance it can be a bit *too* much like hard work. We actually had a very good date, partly because we both seemed to end up playing each other! But staying one step ahead of someone who’s trying to stay one step ahead of me will be exhausting!

He’s invited me to some boat show at the weekend (more on the weekend later… I told you this would be a long one!)

And what about tomorrows date. The big 40… where has he sprung from??

If you remember I said that I slipped up on my vow of abstinence, and snuck back on the dating site (just looking, honeslty!). Well, I got a wink off this guy from Bristol, who has the funniest, most sarcastic profile I’ve seen to date. He’s gone for that ‘I’m so tired of this whole dating scene, so save me’ type profile. I’m not sure I’m the best person to convince him otherwise, but his emails are so funny I can’t resist meeting him! So I’m off for a coffee with him tomorrow night. Strangely in the same place I met my first ever Face to Face. Full circle eh?

And as I’m ‘kind of’ back dating, I may as well come clean about my latest venture. As you know, I’m officially off the dating site at the weekend (ooh… remind me to fill you in on my weekend options!). Well, the other night I ‘came across’ a dating site, run by a ‘quality’ newspaper. So I had a little look around, and noticed it was free to sign up.

So, I’ve put my profile on there!! The same profile, but to a new crowd (I say new… I’ve spotted The Teacher on there already, and The Law Prof spotted me today!). I’m interested in seeing if generally the guys there are more intelligent and fulfilling. I’m tired of one liners and text speak.

Interesting site though. Like a lot of sites it’s free to register, and as soon as your profile is public you get messages off your ‘Fans’ (there’s no winking on this site… if you like the look of someone you become a Fan of theirs. And as a Leo the thought of having an official fanbase is quite alluring!).

I’ve got a couple of Fans already, one of which I liked the look of, so I’m a Fan of his too (to get into the swing of it). Tonight I got a message off him, and yes, he Seems Nice (tm) . But to email him back I need to subscribe (i.e. pay!).

And while the mildly cynical side of me thinks this is a kind of honey trap, set up by the site to lure money out of you, the other frivolous side is edging towards my credit card!