Soulmate not required

Last nights date... the experimental (as in no alcohol) one. A definite no, for a couple of reasons:

First, he was late. Now, that in itself isn't so bad, but when he did show he didn't even seem to realise! No problem I thought... it's not a major no no!

Secondly, he told me he wanted to let me know a bit about his current situation, to see if I was OK with it. Go on, I say... *slightly* worried.

Turns out he's only just split up from his wife, and at the moment they're still living in the same house. Now, in one way I was glad he was upfront and honest, but on the other hand I was slightly concerned about the fact he's put himself out there before he's even moved out.

His profile clearly said he was looking for a soulmate, so I'm guessing there's a potential emotional nightmare just brewing with him, so it's a 'thanks, but no thanks'!

Now, today I've had three new winks (someone somewhere must know I've narrowed my Potentials down, and decided I needed new ones!)

Wink One... straight 'thanks, but no thanks'. One of his favourite things was the obligatory sofa/DVD combo, but this time he'd added 'wearing comfy clothes'. Now, I'm not one for heels and a Chloe dress while watching the Da Vinci code, but I've seriously never felt the need to make that be known. It just worried me... I mean, what does he mean by 'comfy clothes'. I don't want to find out!

Wink Two... now this is an interesting one. He's a designer, who likes red wine and lives by the sea (so handy for those romantic walks). I've emailed him back.

Wink Three... A builder from Wiltshire. Interesting guy, even though he likes (and I quote) "cosy moments like curling up on the sofa with that special someone, with a nice glass of wine and a good DVD". If it wasn't for the fact he's a builder (so I'm thinking fit) it would be a 'thanks, but no thanks', but in my head there's a Potential Diet Coke Man there!

Now, a funny thing happened today. Every couple of days the dating site emails you a list of who it thinks Matches you the most. Top of it's list today is Rugby Guy, with an 83% match.

We're currently working out what the 17% we don't match on is!!

Impromptu date!

Quick update here, as I'm flitting about starting to get ready for tonight's new date with Outdoor Type... just to let you know I've had an impromptu lunchtime coffee date with Rugby Fan!

How cool... there I was, just about ready for a trip to Starbucks, then an afternoon of golf (and I hadn't really spent much time getting ready, so no makeup) when I get a text of Rugby Fan - was it OK for him to join me for said coffee!!

Quick panic as I tried to minimize my hangover look with my enhancing goodies... he did mention he hadn't shaved, and was that OK?!? Well, at least it put us on a scruffy level! Ten minutes later we're chatting over a latte :) Thank god I had my 'oh so cute' golf skirt on, so I didn't look like a complete sight!

Oh, and the best bit. As we went our separate ways I noticed his car... A brand new Audi Convertible! It's a shame the summer's nearly over :)

Gotta go... my next date's in an hour, and I'm still in my 'oh so cute' golf skirt!!

Potential list cull

Last night - (just for fun) date with Third Date Possible (who'd been off my list for a couple of weeks).

It started off very well, in a 'good to catch up' kind of way. But the more he drunk the more his feelings came out, and it seems he's still hung up on the whole 'us being a couple' thing. So, I've decided I'm not going to see him anymore, even in a 'just good friends' kind of way.

To be honest the date didn't really bode well from the start. You know how I love to spend ages getting ready... well it was all I could do to pull on some jeans!And as I'm walking to meet him I'm more interested in reading a text that Rugby Fan had sent, and wondering what to wear tonight for my new 'face to face' with Outdoor Type!!

So, definitely off my list now, and so is (Not) Earthy Kind. I was going to play golf with him this afternoon, but I've decided I'm not going to see him anymore either, for pretty much the same reason... he can't do the 'just good friends' thing either.

And there you go... a nicely slimmed down Potential list: Rugby Fan (who's fab), Outdoor Type (who's new), the Dubliners (both equally cool!), and of course Cute from Devon (who'll be proud of my date shake up... it gives him more of a chance to win the scary date challenge!)

I'm going to try a new style of first date this evening... firstly I'm going to actually read (and reread, and try to remember) Outdoor Type's profile, and secondly, this date will involve no alcohol!

That's right... no alcohol!!! Not even a glass of wine.

Why... well, it may well be alcohol that's effecting my initial judgments of Potentials. I'm quite clearly not always picking up on what their intentions are, so for this Potential I've decided I'm not going to drink for at least three dates (if it gets that far!).

You're ssshpeshal (2)

Now, I know I said last night that Rugby Fan kept in touch, but not too intensely. Well, scrap that... last night I had a series of drunken (but sweet) texts!

He was trying to persuade me to meet him for one drink in the bar downstairs!! I seriously would've, if not for my away day today (hence the stupidly early update).

I reminded him it would constitute a third date, and in his drunken state it may well instigate the "where do you see us going" question!

He's still top of my list... I like his sense of humour (plus, I secretly love drunken texts!). We've decided that on our next date, if we manage to avoid the dreaded question we're going to have the perfect online daters date... a romantic walk along the beach, then we'll stop, inflate the blow up sofa and snuggle up, watching the Da Vinci Code on a portable DVD player, with a couple of bottles of red (after a home cooked meal of course :)

Good vibes, bad vibes and a goodbye

First the good vibes... Outdoor type and I are meeting up on Sunday evening for a drink. Once again he Seems Nice (tm). He wanted to meet on Saturday, but I'm currently weighing up my options so thought it would be easier not to complicate my already complicated time too much!

Another good vibe... Rugby Fan sent a cool text today. I like him, because he keeps in touch, but not too intensely.

Now the bad vibes. Sweet Guy (who I thought was happy with things as they are... after all, it's been less than two weeks since we met) has been giving me a bit of a guilt trip about the amount of time I'm giving him.

He wanted to meet tomorrow night, but I'm away for the day, and have planned the remainder of the evening with my son (remember him - we've got a night together with a film and some ready meals!!)

So I suggested Saturday... meaning the evening. I'm playing golf in the afternoon, is 7ish OK? No, it's not OK - that was clearly the wrong thing to say.

Again I'm getting a sense of neediness. Questions about my level of commitment (none, but not in a mean way... more like in a cautious way) and my priorities (in this order... me and my family, work, hobbies... Potentials in 5th place).

So (and I do feel quite crap about doing this) I've told him I don't think we're quite in the same place about the whole "where do I see us going" thing, and it's probably best if we don't meet up again. I really do feel not nice, because Sweet Guy is a Sweet Guy, but I'm so not ready for the level of guilt I got off him today. After two years of that I see the warning signs a bit easier now.

Anyway... on a more positive note (because I don't do negativity as a rule), my option for Saturday night?? Remember Third Date Possible? Well, he sent me a text to see if I fancied meeting up on Saturday... just for a drink (he said I was fun, so even though we're going nowhere he fancied a night out for a laugh!).

So as long as he hasn't got a hidden agenda to persuade me to commit in any way... why not!